April 28, 2006

• I recently moved, and in the new apartment, there’s a plastic drain thingy that collects hair as the shower water swirls down the drain. I must admit that this drain filter has been the biggest blow to my self-esteem since we had to line up by height in second grade, and I was second to last. (I can’t believe I still remember that.)

  The amount of hair that collects my shower drain filter every day astounds me. I have been aware that I have been losing hair for the last decade, but I could do without the daily reminder that God is giving me a natural mohawk by removing the hair to the left and right of my mohawk tuft.

  In related news, I am thinking about shaving my head. I previously had this idea and I didn’t tell anyone because I didn’t want my twin brother to preempt me. However, proving that nature and nurture together are an unbeatable combination, my twin brother shaved his head three days after I first hatched my secret plan to shave my head. So there’s no point in secrecy now.

  I have a client presentation next Thursday, so I’m not going to do anything drastic this week, but now I’m thinking that some action needs to be taken in the near future. I’ve already tried growing facial hair to distract people from looking at my receding hairline, but that was just too much work to maintain.

  I am now considering the following Bruce Willis options:

  1. Die Hard 3
  2. The Fifth Element
  3. Sin City
  4. Unbreakable

  
  

  Meanwhile, I will go stare at myself in the mirror and practice my Bruce Willis squint.

  • 1:02 am
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