I didn’t blog on Thursday and Friday, so to all those who missed me terribly, I apologize. Everyone else can die.

Moving on to more important topics, tomorrow is Tracksuit Tuesday. I will definitely be participating in my sweet Sweatsedo. Interestingly, Tracksuit Tuesday has spawned a wannabe competitor, Formal Friday, which involves wearing a tuxedo or evening gown to work. I think the idea is that Formal Friday is the opposite of Casual Friday. Anyway, I worked on Wall Street for five years, so I’ve had enough of that. Tracksuits all the way, baby. Also, I don’t own an evening gown.

In equally momentous news, this is day 4 of No Diet Peach Snapple For Bobby. I’ve been drinking water. Let me tell you, kids, water is a poor substitute for the Nectar of the Gods.

I don’t know why I’ve stopped drinking Snapple, except my coworker seems to think that the Aspartame will kill me. Maybe I just don’t want to be happy.

I do not know how so many Xangans subscribe to a billion blogs and comment on them all every day. I subscribe to a bunch of blogs, but the vast majority are defunct sites like moonpixie and dalene to which I subscribed in 2001.  I do read my subscriptions every day, but I can never think of a clever comment. Also, I get distracted because I really only check my blogs at work, and I’m busy at work.

Oddly, I often think of clever comments I could leave while taking the elevator twice a day to go to the deli to get food. Since I am not Matrix’ed into the Internet, this does not help me leave actual comments on actual blogs.

As a penance of sorts, I will now leave some belated-and-heretofore-hypothetical comments for one my favorite bloggers, call_the_shots.

• I didn’t know what to say either! [blog]

• I don’t know what prom dress I would get either. Black sounds nice, although I wouldn’t take any advice from me about prom dresses. If you want to start a blogging company, though, I would be able to help with some useful advice! But that’s neither here nore there. OK, I will stop typing now. [blog]
• 4 AP classes is a lot! Good luck! Also, why do you have to figure out your life now precisely? You have plenty of time, and you seem smart and cool… [blog]
• I bet your essay was just fine! Also, I noticed the clever title (“Lazy Sunday”), that was cute. [blog]
• That’s an awesome story about the field trip… [blog]

I think I like her blog because she reminds me of me in high school, but she has a totally different background. Oh yeah, I just remembered that I found her site through the Harvard blogring, which I never joined but did check out. I think that was a few usernames ago. You should check out her blog, it’s awesome!

Yes, now that I have a Sweatsedo, I have been inducted into the Xanga mob. Ain’t you jealous?

Here’s an oh-so-casual shot of me on guard duty as I patrol the offices with my M4. Thanks, Dave, for letting me borrow it on my first day in the Mob…

This Sweatsedo is a lot bigger in real life than it looked in the picture. I’m only 5’8″. I think you need to be 6’2″ in order to get the full effect. Check out my feet:

Still, I have a Sweatsedo, and you do not, and ahhhh, how glorious life is!

Regarding my Sweatsedo tracksuit:

My Sweatsedo is awesome, and I will brook no criticism of it!

When I post a picture, you will all be crippled with envy. Maybe I can post a pic tomorrow, as UPS says it will arrive then. Actually, UPS tried to deliver it on Friday and today, but they got here too early and nobody was here yet…

Regarding my Blog About Video Games:

Done!

Regarding my Blog About Memory Lane:

Users 1 through 10 are mostly sites like this. And besides being an employee of Xanga, I am http://www.xanga.com/bob. I have no existence outside of Xanga.

Regarding my Blog About Nothing:

I agree!

1. My middle name is Germain. Yes, it’s pronounced like Jermaine of
   the Jackson Five. No, I am not African American. Yes, everyone who sees
   my name thinks I am.

2. I help sell ads for Xanga. Yes, all those annoying ads are my fault. No, I don’t mind if you hate me.
3. I drink at least 8 liters of Diet Peach Snapple a day. At a
   minimum. No, I honestly don’t believe I’m addicted. Yes, everyone at
   the deli makes fun of me for buying this much Snapple.

or

From Goattee November to Full Beard December to Two-Day Moustache to Clean Shaven Bob

I was playing Dave in a quick game of Burnout today, and he said something that could vaguely be considered an excuse. I countered with: “Rule #76: No excuses. Play like a champion!“

Oh, how I chortled with glee…

Anyway, I think this is the only movie quote I’ve somewhat-successfuly been able to work into conversation all week. I would have more success if people recognized quotes from The Paper Chase, but “they” seem to think that this is an obscure movie.

Speaking of movie quotes, The Paper Chase, and smooth transitions between sentences, I must note for the record that a single quote from that movie changed my entire life. This is what the main character says as he talks to a friend about his struggles to do well in a contract law class at law school:

I saw this movie in 1993 or 1994, and I’ve been trying to enter the Upper Echelon every since. Not by chasing empty sheets of papers like diplomas (get it? paper chase?), but by thrusting myself into the fray. Also, by not living in a state of constant fear.

Why am I blogging about personal stuff like this? I suppose I now know why people blog about personal stuff. It’s because you run out of other things to blog about! Anyway, watch the movie. If anybody still has a VCR, I’ll lend you my videocassette.

In three to seven shipping days, I will be the proud owner of a khaki velour tracksuit. And not just any khaki velour tracksuit, I’ll have in my hands a khaki velour Sweatsedo.

Why, you may ask, would I want a tracksuit at all? For Tracksuit Tuesday, of course! For details on Tracksuit Tuesday, you will have to ask its inventor, but as I understand it, it’s Casual Friday for an already-casual workplace, exponentially taken to the next level. On a Tuesday. With tracksuits.

Actually, I don’t think there are any more details that that.

Anyway, given my need to get a tracksuit for Tracksuit Tuesday, I think it’s self-evident why I would have to get a khaki velour tracksuit. That it’s called a Sweatsedo is a giant plus.

I actually spent 10 web-minutes (which is like 70 real-minutes) surfing for a metallic gold tracksuit, but once I found my khaki Sweatsedo, I realized I had found the tuxedo of tracksuits. Sweatsedos are also the sweatpants of tuxedos, but let’s not take a turn into negative-town.

I just started blogging again, and I’ve already run out of things to blog about. I figured my Mystery CoWorkers at Xanga HQ would have some ideas for me, so I IMed them

Ten minutes later…

Still lost without a blog topic, I try one last Mystery CoWorker: