April 15, 2003
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I’m doing my taxes now. It’s not fun, but even I had to laugh out loud when I read this sentence in an IRS form:
You may be eligible to claim [a tax deduction] for a child, even if the child has been kidnapped. For more information, see IRS Publication 501.
I wonder if the IRS catches people who tell the IRS they had
kidnapped a child — just to save a few bucks on their taxes. I’d also
like to read IRS Publication 501.
UPDATE: Another funny line from that hilarious book-of-jokes called IRS Publication 17:
Illegal income, such as stolen and embezzled funds, must be included
in your income on line 21 of Form 1040, or on Schedule C or Schedule
C-EZ (Form 1040) if from your self-employment activity.
Comments (17)
Does that include hubcaps? I may have to file an amended return…
Hmmm..those really make me wonder…who comes up with these things anyway. Cant you just see a governmental meeting in progress… Scary thought
Geez…I’m missing all the fun stuff by doing my taxes online.
I’m so jealous
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOB
thats sposed to say BoB but it looks more like BOOB, anyway, HI BOB!
their dumbness will never cease to amaze me..
you have a cool xanga name
Hmm…So I have to report my “earnings” from the three banks and two liquor stores I knocked off…but I can report my abducted child Jenny as a dependent.
Sweet!!
Hhhhmm…. Can I abduct a child from this guy and he says that his daughter has been kidnapped so he can pay me (the money that he saved for tax) for mowing the lawn when he said he would pay me back but didn’t?
the rat bastard.
ffffff
you sre on my ‘sites i read’ and i dont want you there. and i cant take you off. how do i take you off?
THANK YOU BOBO!!!
you brought the joy back to my life!!!!! 
DDDD hahaha.. that is of course next to my Jesus 
Wow. Funny stuff.
Hey! Your pic is from exploding dog! I love that site…
Hey, no one ever accused the IRS of not being thorough…Still, I have to wonder if completing this line constitutes a “red flag” along the lines of home office deductions. What if you embezzle, get away with it, and give some of the money away to a foundation or charity? Do you still get to write off the donation?
Tax law can so fascinating…
If you kidnap a child and raise them till they are 18, do you get the back child support from the parents?
They do word things funny.
people aren’t sure of what they realy want in life. I received this
letter from a friend on the computer, did what it told me to, and within a
week, everything I had wished came true!! Here’s an exact copy, this really
works!!!! 1. To yourself, say the name of the only guy or girl you wanna be with 3
times! 2. Think of something you wanna accomplish within the next week and say it to your self 6 times!! 3. If you had 1 wish what would it be? say it to yourself 9 times!!! 4. Think of something that you want to happen between you and that 1special person and say it to your self 12 times!!! 5. Now, heres the hard part! Pick only 1 of these wishes and concentrate on it and think on nothing else but that wish. Now make one last &final wish about that one wish that you picked. After reading this, you have 1 hour to send it out to 15 people, and what you wished for will come true within in one week! u only get one chance!!!!! Now scroll down and think of your crush!!!
Did you think of your crush? I hope so, that was your last chance. Now pay very close attention this important message! Sorry but once read, must be sent. Yes, this is one of those kinda chain letters that everyone hates. This one has been going since 1863 and if you break this chain, you will pay!!!!!! Remember that after hearing these storiesFirst Example: Take Barbra Wallace.. She was a pretty lucky girl, up till she got this same chain letter. She had a crush on the same kid since kindergarden. when she got this mail she didn’t pay any attention to it. She just thought, no big deal. And deleted it. The next day her dad got fired and her mom dies in a car crash. If she would have sent the letter none of that would have happened and her mom would be alive. Second Example: Try Freddie D. Now Freddie D. was your average nerd. Had glasses, was short and chubby,was in gifted. All the signs of your total dork. He also received this letter and sent it to 51 people in the hour. Now, like Barbra, he had a crush on a girl since 3rd grade. The next day after sending the chain the girl confessed her love for him ever since 3rd grade. Freddie D. finally had the courage to ask her out, and of
course, she had been waiting to yes to that for years. They grew up and married each other to live happily forever.
Third Example: Now if you couldn’t relate to the others, this’ll get ya hooked. Listen to this. A kid named Jordan Johnson was just getting on AOL to check his mail. He was a quiet kid, not that popular but not a geek either. he was just normal. He saw he had mail from his friend. It was this exact letter. Now Jordan Johnsen was a smart kid and he knew what could happen if he didnt pass it on. He simply pulled a few friends from his buddy list and sent it along. The next day, about that same time, he got a phone call. It said he had won the lottery! then his dad came home and bought him a new bike! His mom bought him Nintendo64 and play station! His grandmother sent him a new computer, and his best friend gave him tickets to the concert he wanted to go to, Kid Rock and Limp
Bizkit! Then he inherited a brand-new tv from his aunt! He was goin’ wild! the next day his secret crush asked him out, and they have been going out ever since. Now, you heard the stories. I know which person i’d rather
be, but thats up to you. I wouldn’t wanna end up like Barbra but thats only me. We all want what we cant have but now’s ur chance to go out with that special somebody ur waiting for. Take it or leave it. If you send this to- 1 person- you will lose all luck in ur love life…..forever!!!!! 10 people- your crush will say they like you as a friend……ONLY!!!!! 15 people- your crush will say they like you 20 people- your crush will ask you out!
25 people- your crush will french kiss you!! 30 people or more- all of the above!!!! Don’t blow it, it’s ur chance to shine! Have everything u wanted, and more! Now, complaining cus u dont have any friends. Well theres an answer 4 everything. It’s simple, just go in a chat room, pick some names and send away! but here’s the catch…..you only have one hour to send it after being read. Please pass this to everyone u know and keep it going! I didn’t write this, so don’t look at me. I was just doing everybody a favor and passing it on. Now you do the same Posted 1/8/2005 at 1:49 AM by
Hi BOB!!!!
yes, very funny stuff to read. when i was in high school i wanted to become a lawyer, until i realized the insanity you must wade through on a daily basis. obviously what seem incredibly ridiculous inclusions are there for C.Y.A. to prosecute, prosecute, prosecute… in addition to ignorance of the law being no excuse.
>>>THE BOYFRIEND AND GIRLFRIEND TEST
> >>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>>>
> >>>This is no joke. It works (from experience).
> >>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>>>
> >>>DO NOT just delete this. DO WHAT IT SAYS!!!! FOR
YOUR OWN GOOD
:~)
> >>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>>>
> >>>LOVE LIFE’S SAKE!!!
> >>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>
> >>>Read this now or forever hold your peace.
> >>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>This is not just your ordinary chain letter.
Every person you
send
> >>>it to, brings you more good luck.
> >>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>>>
> >>>If you send it to no one, it will cause someone
you like to hate
> >>>you.
> >>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>>>
> >>>If you send it to 1 person, your next
relationship will have lots
> >>>of fun times.
> >>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>>>
> >>>If you send it to 2 people, you will get a secret
admirer.
> >>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>>>
> >>>If you send it to 3 people, you’ll get a date for
the next school
> >>>dance.
> >>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>>>
> >>>If you send it to 4 people, you’ll meet the
person of your dreams
> >>>:~)
> >>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>>>
> >>>If you send it to 5 people, the guy or girl you
met of your
dreams
> >>>will…….ask for your phone number.
> >>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>>>
> >>>If you send it to 8 people, your next
relationship will be
> >>>everlasting.
> >>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>>>
> >>>If you send it to 13 people, your boyfriend or
girlfriend, will
> >>>become…..totally faithful to you.
> >>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>>>
> >>>If you send it to 15 people, the person you have
been crushing on
> >>>for a very long time, will…..ask you out.
> >>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>>>
> >>>If you send it to 18 people, your date for the
next dance will
ask
> >>>you…..out.
> >>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>>>
> >>>If you send it to 20 people, you’ll make out
with your crush at a
> >>>party.
> >>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>>>
> >>>If it can do that much sending it to 20 people,
imagine what it
> >>>will do if you send it to more.
> >>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >>>The consequences:
> >>>If you do not send this letter to anybody, your
life will…..be
a
> >>>living hell. You have 5 days to send this letter
to at least 1
> >>>person. You can send this to as many people as
you want to. I am
> >>>warning you…do not just delete this letter. It
is a new chain
> >>>letter and we would like it to
> >>>get sent around as quick as possible.
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>GRAB A PIECE OF
> >>>PAPER AND A PEN
> >>>AND
> >>>NUMBER
> >>>IT 1 – 10!
> >>>HERE’S THE TEST!
> >>>
> >>>1.. Pick your favorite color out of the
following:
> >>>A. Red
> >>>B. Orange
> >>>C. Yellow
> >>>D. Green
> >>>E. Blue
> >>>F. Purple
> >>>
> >>>2. Pick your favorite animal out of the
following:
> >>>A. Cat
> >>>B. Dog
> >>>C. Fish
> >>>D. Snake
> >>>E. Parrot
> >>>F. Mouse
> >>>
> >>>3. Pick your desired honeymoon spot:
> >>>A. Hawaii
> >>>B. New York
> >>>C. East Africa
> >>>D. Spain
> >>>E. Montana
> >>>
> >>>4. Pick your favorite instrument:
> >>>A. Violin
> >>>B. Piano
> >>>C.. Electric Guitar
> >>>D. Drums
> >>>
> >>>5. Pick your favorite soft drink:
> >>>A. Dr. Pepper
> >>>B. Sprite
> >>>C. Coca Cola,
> >>>D. Pepsi,
> >>>E. Mountain Dew.
> >>>
> >>>6. Name A Person Of The Opposite Sex…
> >>>7. Name A Person Of The Same Sex…
> >>>8. The Time Now…
> >>>9. Your Age
> >>>10. You don’t have to write it down, but make a
WISH
> >>>and then scroll
> >>>down! ( now go down, and you will see the
answers:~)
> >>>
> >>>>>*
> >>>>>**
> >>>>>***
> >>>>>****
> >>>>>*****
> >>>>>******
> >>>>>*******
> >>>>>********
> >>>>>*********
> >>>>>**********
> >>>>>***********
> >>>>>************
> >>>>>*************
> >>>>>**************
> >>>>>***************
> >>>>>****************
> >>>>>*****************
> >>>>>******************
> >>>>>*******************
> >>>>>********************
> >>>>>*********************
> >>>>>**********************
> >>>>>*********************
> >>>>>********************
> >>>>>*******************
> >>>>>******************
> >>>>>*****************
> >>>>>****************
> >>>>>***************
> >>>>>**************
> >>>>>*************
> >>>>>************
> >>>>>***********
> >>>>>**********
> >>>>>*********
> >>>>>********
> >>>>>*******
> >>>>>******
> >>>>>*****
> >>>>>****
> >>>>>***
> >>>>&g t;**
> >>>>>*
> >>>>>**
> >>>>>***
> >>>>>****
> >>>>>*****
> >>>>>******
> >>>>>*******
> >>>>>********
> >>>>>*********
> >>>>>**********
> >>>>>***********
> >>>>>************
> >>>>>*************
> >>>>>**************
> >>>>>***************
> >>>>>****************
> >>>>>*****************
> >>>>>******************
> >>>>>*******************
> >>>>>********************
> >>>>>*********************
> >>>>>**********************
> >>>>>*********************
> >>>>>********************
> >>>>>*******************
> >>>>>******************
> >>>>>*****************
> >>>>>****************
> >>>>>***************
> >>>>>**************
> >>>>>*************
> >>>>>************
> >>>>>***********
> >>>>>**********
> >>>>>*********
> >>>>>********
> >>>>>*******
> >>>>>******
> >>>>>*****
> >>>>>****
> >>>>>***
> >>>>>**
> >>>>;>*
> >>>>>**
> >>>>>***
> >>>>>****
> >>>>>*****
> >>>>>******
> >>>>>*******
> >>>>>********
> >>>>>*********
> >>>>>**********
> >>>>>***********
> >>>>>************
> >>>>>*************
> >>>>>**************
> >>>>>***************
> >>>>>****************
> >>>>>*****************
> >>>>>******************
> >>>>>*******************
> >>>>>********************
> >>>>>*********************
> >>>>>**********************
> >>>>>*********************
> >>>>>*********?A**********
> >>>>>*******************
> >>>>>******************
> >>>>>*****************
> >>>>>****************
> >>>>>***************
> >>>>>**************
> >>>>>*************
> >>>>>************
> >>>>>***********
> >>>>>**********
> >>>>>*********
> >>>>>********
> >>>>>*******
> >>>>>******
> >>>>>*****
> >>>>>****
> >>>>>***
> >>>>>**
> >>>>>*
> >>>>>**
> >>>>>***
> >>>>>****
> >>>>>*****
> >>>>>******
> >>>>>*******
> >>>>>********
> >>>>>*********
> >>>>>**********
> >>>>>***********
> >>>>>************
> >>>>>*************
> >>>>>**************
> >>>>>***************
> >>>>>****************
> >>>>>*****************
> >>>>>******************
> >>>>>*******************
> >>>>>********************
> >>>>>*********************
> >>>>>**********************
> >>>>>*********************
> >>>>>********************
> >>>>>*******************
> >>>>>******************
> >>>>>*****************
> >>>>>****************
> >>>>>***************
> >>>>>**************
> >>>>>*************
> >>>>>************
> >>>>>***********
> >>>>>**********
> >>>>>*********
> >>>>>********
> >>>>>*******
> >>>>>******
> >>>>>*****
> >>>>>****
> >>>>>***
> >>>>>**
> >>>>>*
> >>>>>*< BR>>>**
> >>>>>***
> >>>>>****
> >>>>>*****
> >>>>>******
> >>>>>*******
> >>>>>********
> >>>>>*********
> >>>>>**********
> >>>>>***********
> >>>>>************
> >>>>>*************
> >>>>>**************
> >>>>>***************
> >>>>>****************
> >>>>>*****************
> >>>>>******************
> >>>>>*******************
> >>>>>********************
> >>>>>*********************
> >>>>>**********************
> >>>>>*********************
> >>>>>********************
> >>>>>*******************
> >>>>>******************
> >>>>>*****************
> >>>>>****************
> >>>>>***************
> >>>>>**************
> >>>>>*************
> >>>>>************
> >>>>>***********
> >>>>>**********
> >>>>>*********
> >>>>>********
> >>>>>*******
> >>>>>******
> >>>>>*****
> >>>>>****
> >>>>>***
> >>>>>**
> >>>>>*
> >>>>>**
> >>>>>***
> >>>>>****
> >>>>>*****
> >>>>>******
> >>>>>*******
> >>>>>********
> >>>>>*********
> >>>>>**********
> >>>>>***********
> >>>>>************
> >>>>>*************
> >>>>>**************
> >>>>>***************
> >>>>>****************
> >>>>>*****************
> >>>>>******************
> >>>>>*******************
> >>>>>********************
> >>>>>*********************
> >>>>>**********************
> >>>>>********************
> >>>>>*******************
> >>>>>******************
> >>>>>*****************
> >>>>>****************
> >>>>>***************
> >>>>>**************
> >>>>>*************
> >>>>>************
> >>>>>***********
> >>>>>**********
> >>>>>*********
> >>>>>********
> >>>>>*******
> >>>>>******
> >>>>>*****
> >>>>>****
> >>>>>***
> >>>>>**
> >>>>>*
> >>>
> >>>HERE ARE THE ANSWERS!
> >>>Question number ONE:
> >>>A. Red – Adventerous
> >>>B.. Orange – Fun
> >>>C. Yellow – Sweet
> >>>D. Green – Wacky
> >>>E. Blue – Romantic
> >>>F. Purple – Mysterious
> >>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >>>Question number TWO:
> >>>A. Cat – Feminine
> >>>B. Dog – Loving
> >>>C. Fish – Boring
> >>>D. Snake – Boyish
> >>>E. Parrot – Annoying
> >>>F. Mouse – Brainy
> >>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >>>Question number THREE:
> >>>A. Hawaii – Romantic
> >>>B. New York – Busy
> >>>C. East Africa – Curious
> >>>D. Spain – Mysterious
> >>>E. Montana – Country Girl/Boy
> >>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >>>Question number FOUR:
> >>>A. Violin – Intellectual
> >>>B. Piano – Popular
> >>>C. Electri c Guitar – Wacky
> >>>D. Drums – Wild
> >>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >>>Question number FIVE:
> >>>A. Dr. Pepper – Popular
> >>>B. Sprite – Wacky
> >>>C. Coca Cola – Wild
> >>>D. Pepsi – Fun
> >>>E. Mountain Dew – Athletic
> >>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >>>Question number SIX:
> >>>That person will have a crush on you after you
> >>>send this!
> >>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >>>Question number SEVEN:
> >>>That person will become your enemy if you don’t
> >>>send this!
> >>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >>>Question number EIGHT:
> >>>How long you have to send this!
> >>>(Ex: 5:15 = 5hours 15 minutes)
> >>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >>>Question number NINE:
> >>>How many peeps you have to send this to!
> >>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >>>Question number TEN:
> >>>That will come true if you do question number 9
in the amount
> >>>of time (question) number 8 says!
> >>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>Congratulations!!!!
> >>>*START SENDING* (YOUR TIME STARTS NOW)..