February 28, 2008
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Dear Left Ear
Dear Left Ear,
Why have you betrayed me? I take good care of you, but ever since that bath five years ago, you keep on getting infected. I admit that this last time, you had me fooled. I didn’t understand why the left lymph node in my neck had swollen. You hid behind the pain of that swollen node, and I didn’t even realize that you were infected…
I could only sleep by taking the two remaining codeines I had from when I got my right wisdom teeth out. And now those codeines are gone! I even thought my left wisdom teeth might be infected, you wily trickster. But now I know that it was you all along.
I can’t believe you have betrayed me so. I have followed all the rules: I take showers and buy Q-tips in bulk. And yet, you regularly betray me with these ear infections.
And so, I have an ultimatum. I’m not a man to make threats, but if you don’t want to be van Gogh’ed, you better get healthy in the next day or three.
Sincerely,
The Rest of My Body
Comments (23)
Yikes there is nothing worse than an ear ache…I hope it gets to feeling better soon!!!!
Ear aches are pretty debilitating, for sure. Have you ever had an inner ear infection? Those are almost fun, its like being on a fucked up roller coaster ride blindfolded. I dont recommend it.
I hope you feel better soooooon!
cut it off.
@porcupinesol - Shh! My left ear will hear you, and I said I would give it another few days…
Hang in there, vincent!
I hope you are feeling better soon.
gahahahahahh
quick, start putting your artwork on the market
The left ear and the right ear have formed a secret cabal along with your tonsils, appendix, your spleen, gallbladder, and adnoids. Some of them have already been removed, making the others just rebel against you more. If they’re all in tact, it’s the start of a vicious plot to bring you down starting from the top up.
@BadnarikChick - Maybe, but my right ear is definitely on the right side of this conflict.
i bribe your left ear with a cupcake to get bettah fo youuuuu.
Oooh ear pain sucks! Hope it makes the deadline Bob. =P
yeah.. cut it off.
Left Ear wants to rebel now and then.
Hope your ear is feeling better today!
hope your left ear understand what u said and refuse to betray u, haha . . .
btw, wish it get better now.
I didn’t know I could make anonymous comments. Cheerio.
Maybe your ear is trying to tell you something.
I hope the ear done listened to ya! T’would be a shame to lop it off.
I used to have a boyfriend with the same problem. You might want to get that checked out!
@squeakysoul -
DIRECTOR,AUDIT AND ACCOUNTING UNIT.
FOREIGN REMITTANCE DEPT.
ECO-BANK LOME-TOGO.
Dear,
I am MR.MANOAH GANGA , Director and Chief of Accountant for the Bills and Credits in the Foreign Remittance Department section of ECO-BANK.Lome-Togo in West Africa.
I got your contact through an international web directory,Your profile made me to contact you because I was searching for a reliable and trustwordthy person who can not betray me, because I have been praying to my God to direct me to the rightful person to entrust this fund to.
There was one of our client Mr.John BRIANT, A United States Citizen Who died on 29 January 2002 in a plane crash which also claimed the life of his only child, Who untill death was the next of kin to the fathers money in our bank ECO-BANK.
I am the only director that knows his bank’s information, because he use to be my good friend when he was alive,He left about (US$14.5Million)in his account.
At this juncture I want to transfer this US$14.5Million into the account you wish to nominate. I will do the paper work here claiming that you are the next of kin to this client, and that you want to transfer the sum into your account abroad.
The service of an Attorney will be needed to seal everything and to change the data and information in his file so as to enable us transfer it swiftly. If we employ the service of a highly Accredited Lawyer that means it will take us only 8-10 working days to transfer this money into your nominated account.
He will arrange for the affidavit of support from Ministry of Justice claiming that you are the right beneficiary of this fund. I will give you 30% of the total sum of the US$14.5Million for assisting me 5% expencess that will come out in this transation 5% will be donate to the charity.
The transaction is 100% free risk.
Yours Faithfully,
Contact me in my private E–mail;mr.manoah.ganga2008@gmail.com
00228–088-52-47
.
N.B: PLEASE FORWARD TO ME YOUR PRIVATE TELEPHONE ANDFAX NUMBER INCASE I NEEDURGENT CONVERSATION WITH YOU.
@Queen_Tina -
DIRECTOR,AUDIT AND ACCOUNTING UNIT.
FOREIGN REMITTANCE DEPT.
ECO-BANK LOME-TOGO.
Dear,
I am MR.MANOAH GANGA , Director and Chief of Accountant for the Bills and Credits in the Foreign Remittance Department section of ECO-BANK.Lome-Togo in West Africa.
I got your contact through an international web directory,Your profile made me to contact you because I was searching for a reliable and trustwordthy person who can not betray me, because I have been praying to my God to direct me to the rightful person to entrust this fund to.
There was one of our client Mr.John BRIANT, A United States Citizen Who died on 29 January 2002 in a plane crash which also claimed the life of his only child, Who untill death was the next of kin to the fathers money in our bank ECO-BANK.
I am the only director that knows his bank’s information, because he use to be my good friend when he was alive,He left about (US$14.5Million)in his account.
At this juncture I want to transfer this US$14.5Million into the account you wish to nominate. I will do the paper work here claiming that you are the next of kin to this client, and that you want to transfer the sum into your account abroad.
The service of an Attorney will be needed to seal everything and to change the data and information in his file so as to enable us transfer it swiftly. If we employ the service of a highly Accredited Lawyer that means it will take us only 8-10 working days to transfer this money into your nominated account.
He will arrange for the affidavit of support from Ministry of Justice claiming that you are the right beneficiary of this fund. I will give you 30% of the total sum of the US$14.5Million for assisting me 5% expencess that will come out in this transation 5% will be donate to the charity.
The transaction is 100% free risk.
Yours Faithfully,
Contact me in my private E–mail;mr.manoah.ganga2008@gmail.com
00228–088-52-47
.
N.B: PLEASE FORWARD TO ME YOUR PRIVATE TELEPHONE ANDFAX NUMBER INCASE I NEEDURGENT CONVERSATION WITH YOU.
aww =(
in first grade my ear was infected
and now occasionally when i blow my nose it pops for like 2 hours /:
Cute post, but I hope your left ear feels better fast!
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26443394/
apparently we’re not supposed to use q-tips in our ears?
perhaps that’s why it got infected? /shrug