September 3, 2008
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RE: “Please Consider The Environment Before Printing This Email”
Memorandum
TO: All You Evil People Out There
FROM: BobYou know who you are. You’re the people who have an auto-sig on your email that says:
please consider the
environment before printing this e-mail.FYI, I hate you.
Your auto-sig suggests that I’m constantly printing emails, but your magic reminder will dissuade me from killing trees even as my mouse cursor hovers over the Print button. Let’s face it, I print out one email for maybe every ten thousand I receive. I’ve read about these people who print out every email to read “offline”. These people also use fax machines. Like most people under the age of 100, I am not one of those people.
Just to spite you, I’d like to print out every email you stupid people send me, but then I’d have to get up and go to the printer 50 times a day, and we all know that’s not going to happen. You dodged a bullet on that one.
Also, have you ever considered the hard drive space that your stupid auto-sig takes up? I bet miners digging metal ore to make hard drives harm the environment way more than printing an email ever could. So you’re probably hurting the environment with your emails, you spotted owl murderer.
Do I write you emails that say “please consider the fact that you are stupid before reading this e-mail”? Granted, that is probably a good idea, but somehow I’ve found the discipline to refrain. Please, return the favor and stop it already.
Regards,
BobP.S.
please consider the
environment before printing this blog.P.P.S. See how annoying that is?!?!?!?
Comments (85)
you are an hero for this post
Oh this was hilarious! Well, I would make all the tree huggers happy. My printer is broken.
Gaw! You’re so EVIL!
I hate email signatures in general, unless its your contact info and that’s it. Little inspirational quotes do not inspire me, especially coming from someone I have to be in email contact with on somewhat of a regular basis.
I’m gonna print this blog. Like, 6 copies.
Yep.
Oh wow… that’s too freaking funny!!
oh, never even got one of those.
this calls for refresehd creativity to make stupid asuto sig’s though.
please consider the dangers of driking while reading this email
or
beware the hot coffeets in this paper cup may be hot
nice rant, but i’ve never seen that sig…ever…
LOL. Seriously
Hahhahahha.a….
I’ve never printed an email in my life….
i don’t print e-mails, but that sig is annoying.
lol. point nicely made.
google maps tells you to send it to your phone rather than printing. do you now hate almighty google as well?
I’ve noticed that. My supervisors at my summer job used it as their autio-sig…another reason for me to dislike it even more.
lol gotta love this!!!
my work autosig has that. ha!
Seriously, who prints out email?
ahahahaha. Oh I’ve seen these people that print out all their email.
Scary.
Please consider that you are a moron before reading this email.
I like it. It has a nice ring to it.
haha. cute.
Thank you. I thought I was the only one offended by this auto-sig crap…
Who prints out emails anyway?
I see I’m not alone …
@Chinese_Sait0u - me neither. let’s consider ourselves lucky I guess
Very funny.
Okay, I don’t necessarily agree with you but you amused me for a moment, so that’s why I’m recommending this very environmentally unsupportive post.
BTW — Those words help make the lazy people who still care about the environment feel like they’re contributing positively to the cause. It’s not suppose to annoy those of us who know better.
This is just hilarious, but so true, nic epost.
I’m so glad you dissuaded me from printing this blog. I, personally, print every blog I read. You know why? Cause I hate trees. There, I said it. *sarcasm*
I also hate how some people are so intense about the “killing of trees”. This one lady in my office is constantly asking “where is that saved on the computer?” as a subsititution for printing it. If she only knew how much stuff I have to print every day, she’d have an aneurism. The reason I don’t understand her anger is that we recycle like every piece of paper we throw out. Hello? Get a grip.
will you marry me? no seriously. this post was awesome.
I’ve never even seen this signature in emails but that’s ridiculous because who the hell prints emails?
If anything it should say something about the bottled water epidemic.
Stop. Bottled. Water.
HAHAHAHA my ugly boss is one of those who prints out every freaking email! and you know what he does right after it prints out? he glances at it, then he CRUMBLES it and THROWS it away in the trash.. no, NOT the recycle bin, the TRASH. he’s a freaking retard and i hate working with him! haha. one is ok, but if you’re doing it the way my boss is, maybe then the auto-sig is necessary. he doesnt know how to turn on the computer, or do anything other than check his email. once, i minimized the browser to his email to open a word document.. and then he asked me, “how do i get back to my email? where is it?” HAHA omg. it was HILARIOUS. ok enough enough.
LOL.
I only have one person that e-mails me that has this signature…except it’s always on her e-mails that have contracts attached to them. Contracts that are longer than the e-mail and require printing. Brilliant!
Mind if I print this?
xD
Very nice post, sir. You my hero.
LOL !!! I am going to print this out and put it on my cube door.
Um, so.
Your third paragraph is the funniest damn thing I’ve seen all day.
I agree that almost anything humans are capable of doing uses resources and ruins the environment somehow, so why fight it? Even walking to a destination, think how many bugs you accidentally kill, how much energy you expend, how you eat food to replace that energy, then wonder where that food came from, and unless you have your own personal farm, that food was transported somehow to your local grocer, which polluted the atmosphere. You walking somewhere inadvertently supported pollution. And killed animals.
Admit it, walker. You’re going to hell.
Wait until this person finds out I constantly print reference pictures for my drawings.
I got a rejection letter from a college that said “to be environmentally friendly, we will not be sending you a paper version of this letter.” After I paid $75 for the application, I can’t even be rejected with a real piece of paper?
I have not seen that before either. I don’t like stupid unnecessary signatures in general.
Whiners annoy me more than signatures.
Taking up a tiny bit of hard drive space is now your issue? Miners digging up metal for hard drives? You’re stretching a bit. If a tiny signature at the bottom of an email bothers you this much, you have bigger issues to sort out. I guess maybe i don’t see how annoying it is?
Brilliant, and thank you for voicing this, as I am equally frustrated with such signatures.
Cheers,
Taylor!
Haha….awesome…
@RisingRebirth - This made me laugh out loud. hha, that was very funny.
People still print emails? lmao..that was great!
I’ve never in my life printed an email. I’m not sure what they’re being so cautious about.
My printer is broken as well, so I cannot print this.
I think people throw them on the sigs to remind people to think before acting. It’s not specifically made out to you, which is how you make it seem.
But I don’t really like those things anyway. So I understand how annoyed you are with them.
Amen.
Kudos, very funny! ^_^ I’m going to print this blog to show my friends (j/k) ^_^
I knew a guy who used to print out his email. Product manuals too.
I threw them all away when I was cleaning up his office for his replacement.
=D
I haven’t recieved one yet…
I bet it’s a lot like those Baby on Board signs though…
Thanks for the giggle Bob.
“you just killed a tree by printing that!”
I frikin hate that expression! it’s not like paper comes from naturally growing trees we haven’t found yet. WE GROW TREES SO WE CAN CUT THEM DOWN! it’s like telling someone who’s eating corn flakes, that they just killed a corn plant. what?! duh! that’s the point! that’s why we grow corn. to eat. that’s why we grow trees! TO CUT DOWN! it’s a farm stupid!
and i always thought it meant like the office environment….gossipy coworkers.
now that i see it in color with the little graphic, i understand.
Nothing is eco-friendly enough anymore, basically. We can all do little, insignificant things that probably won’t make a difference like writing on BOTH SIDES OF OUR SCHOOL NOTEBOOKS! Otherwise we’re tree murderers. Yay.
@soobee72 - I had a job at my college and the Dean printed practically every email received and there was a specific room to house all these emails and then old ones were taken to storage. The filing system was insane. Many cabinets. Many more drawers. Kind of fun to glance through them all as I filed them though.
I WANT TO END MY EMAILS WITH “PLEASE CONSIDER THAT YOU ARE STUPID BEFORE REPLYING TO THIS EMAIL.”
What you said was hilarious, but a warning not to read the email hastily placed at the end? Besides, most harm comes from stupid replies, or at least in my mailbox it does. …
In any case, this was a great entry. You win 157 points. Congrats!
lol I seriously never got that little sig. either
*print*
HAHHAA. After reading this, I feel like use up a whole ream of paper to print out your post and send them to the environmentally-conscious. I think I will also use extra sheets of paper to write them an attached note that reads “Suck on this, beeesh.”
Oh my God! I officially love you. (Don’t worry I’m not a crazy stalker, I just appreciate awesomeness)
I’d give a giant box of cookies if I knew you!
“Please consider punching me in the throat for my abuse of feigned humour!”
CAN DO, GOOD SIR…COME CLOSER.
Absolutely hilarious.
When I was an intern, I would read that little note all the time, and then print out those damn emails. There was nothing I could do about it… trees were dying left and right.
HAHA! I’ve never seen that signature but watch as I do right after I read this…
Hmmm I haven’t run into this issue… but that’s probably because I rarely check my emails and when I do, I usually don’t read anything unless it’s drastically important. Yeah…
I get these sigs and she is in the adjacent office from me. THe funny thing is she prints out her emails HAHA
o the irony
Why do people need to print their email anyway? Can’t they just save it on their computer?
Good post
haha i’ve never recieved an email with somthing as annoying as that at the bottom of it..XD
I see so many people who automatically attach that blurb to all their emails. I have to agree with you on how annoying that is!
lmfao at least i never get those…
Bwahahahahaha!!! Most excellent postage. I will print this (regardless of the environment) and post it everywhere!!!
i’d post a comment saying how i love this post but it would take up hard drive space, thus tearing down the entire ozone layer… oops
I hate it when people stick that on the end… I mean seriously, who prints out every email they receive? I never print out my email. Why would I do that anyway? >_>
LOL *please refrain from printing this comment*
However, I have to deal with 500+ emails at work and then convert those into edited versions for a publication. I have slowly tried not to print any of those and just copy and paste what I can electronically. It was difficult at first…but that damn eco-friendly sign kept playing a silent guilt trip on me…
I get the annoyance factor of those tags, but the hard drive argument is kind of silly. Do you know how much HD space the average email, including those tags take up? To use the “Xanga subscription digest” as an example, graphics and all, takes 41kb. At that rate, it would take 3.2 million emails to fill a 160GB hard drive (which at this point is the smallest drive available in most systems), and that’s assuming you don’t use any compression whatsoever.
Hello Bob,
You made your site more interesting than most. The pictures are a nice touch. I see that you have a lot of fans here!
I’m sending an important message to people about God’s plans for us that is in the Bible: 15 I will pour out my vengeance on all the nations that refuse to obey me.” (Micah 5:15) (NLT)
Sadly, today someone handed me a print out of an email.
Dear Bob love you honey happy weeks to you all hugs Ginger
Hi… I just randomly surfed onto this post while searching for global
responses (ahem) to this tagline. I knew somebody at my former
workplace who used to print e-v-e-r-y single email she got. She was was super paranoid about office matters and I doubt if a stupid tagline would change anything.
Anyway, the second funniest reponse I found on the net is here:
http://www.fairerscience.org/fs-blogs/2008/01/please_consider_the_environmen.html
Someone’s suggesting that the less paper is printed, fewer trees get planted in the forests where paper comes from
@Mahesh Shantaram - Thanks for the comment!
I hope you printed my blog out and then threw away the printout in the trash (not the recycle bin).
DUDE – YOUR IGNORANT!!
You wanna hope you don’t ever get stuck in a lift with these guys – thinkbeforeprinting.org
What next? Maybe t-shirts.
Memories look like a story-teller, with full local accent. Skip puddles and around the small village, waiting the fate met. You use a clay pinch a castle, and said will marry me. Turn round many times, step over number of doors. Put a links of london jewellery wedding ring on me. From then on, there is a little person living in my links of london heart, and dreams were made and used and wasted. I am looking the person in the story. You are the one can’t absence. Oath is still very immature. Tears are still on the face. You were napping under the tree, I was waiting giggle.
It’s a story of mine. I wear the links of london in my whole life. No one knows why I love so much the ring. I also don’t know why. We even don’t know what his name is and how old he is and where he come and went. It really likes a ridiculous story. But I have a proof that is the links of london jewellery ring. It’s neither a dream nor a girl’s imagination.
I don’t know if you can see this article, if you can remember the period happiness, I hope you can have a happy life.
I have had the sam,e thoughts on this stupid, stupid signature add on. Who the eff is printing all these emails?? I know this is an old post, but thanks for the LOLz.